Thursday, August 11, 2011

Guilt vs. Gratitude

**In light of recent events; I was sure I would opt for a topic on pain, loss, and grief.  Our family lost someone very dear to us 2 weeks ago this Friday.  Still reeling with emotions, I am not ready to tackle this subject quite so soon. Instead I decided upon a more shallow topic, to keep things light.  But I did want to acknowledge Tim, and how he will be missed by many.  I learned how he has inspired and touched so many lives, during the beautiful service that was held in his honor last Friday.  We love you Tim, you will live in our hearts forever**

Inspired by a post I saw on another blog,"10 things I want right now"  I decided to do create my own spin on it, but I couldn’t  totally take credit for this super cool idea.  So here is where I found my inspiration:   

My 5 things I want right now:
cowgirl boots

white Capri jeans
rose quartz with diamond ring
from Ben Bridge
(I heart them)

baby memory book

a massage

5 things I can’t live without:

Dr. Pepper chapstick, nuff said

my sparkly pink Blackberry

water, duh.

my books

In  thinking about this post, I came to the realization that, there is ALWAYS something  I want.  Always!!!!!  Whether  its new shoes, more clothes, a different job, more time, more money.  The list is infinite.  Its during  these times that I begin to feel guilty and ask myself, what am I grateful for?  Even though these wants somehow turn into needs-haha!!   I NEEEEED new shoes. Or, I have to buy this purse NOW.  But I have discovered that these wants are ok to have, and they do not mean that I am ungrateful.  I realize I have a very blessed life, and I am aware that not everyone gets to have or do the things that I am able to, and I never take those for granted, ever.  I am very aware of my surroundings and how wonderful it is to live in the material world. I work hard and I deserve to reward myself as a result of my hard work, without having guilt.

“If rewards come without effort one never learns to work;
if hard work yields no rewards,
one learns to give up” 
  ~ Unknown

In feeling guilty for wanting things, I think its important to acknowledge my human and Americanized nature.  I- like- having-  things.  I like shopping, I like buying things for myself, and even sometimes  for others too.  I have shoes in my closet that I don’t wear, I just like how they adorn the space.  They make me smile when I see them, and that is purpose enough for me.  Material possessions are part of the human experience, and I would be lying if I told you they are not important to me.  They are not the most important, but they do hold a space in life.  I like having nice things, enjoying a meal at a fancy restaurant, spending $50 on a night out at the movies, ya know those kinds of things.  So, to feel guilty for something that is inherently natural is LUDICROUS!!  Right?  Yet it happens time and time again.  In order to balance these occurrences, and gain perspective, I have written and even longer list of things I am grateful for today and everyday:

 (in all kinds of particular and random order)
1.       my health
2.       homecooked meals
3.       Trader joes
4.       make up
5.       My lipgloss collection
6.       my shoe collection
7.       jewelry
8.       purses
9.       my home
10.     Pictures of family and friends in my home
11.     friends
12.     family
13.     the  husband
14.     my healthy baby boy
15.     mom
16.    donuts in the morning
17.    green lights
18.    the way moms house smells when she is cooking 
19.    yellow cake with chocolate frosting
20.    AA meetings
21.    Adell
22.   water (can’t live with out it, literally)
23.   fuzzy blankets.
24.   cable tv
25.   the internet (which I don’t have right now- long story)
26.   nailpolish
27.   Kazoozles (it’s a fruity licorice wonka candy-my new addiction)
28.   Celeb reality shows. Yes The Kardashians, Ice loves Coco <hanging head in shame>
29.   Organic food
30.   animal rights activists
31.   my cozy bed
32.   pasta
33.   white Christmas lights in my room
34.   my very large closets
35.   my car
36.   my job
37.   glitter pens
38.   coupons
39.   my apartment complex amenities we have a fire pit, movie theatre, and a gym!!
40.   my wedding rings
41.   my watch
42.   vitamins
43.   strawberries
44.   scrapbook scissors
45.   horses
46.   desserts- all kinds
47.   dinner with friends
48.   coffee
49.   holidays
50.   kindness of strangers

There is much more than this list that I am grateful for today, but I don’t want to bore you all to tears.  Yeah- so some of these are also my likes, but you get the idea. 
In the end gratitude always wins.

“Gratitude is an art of painting an adversity into a lovely picture.”  ~Kak Sri

with Love,

Misty Marie