Monday, July 30, 2012

The Mom I thought I'd Be

When ever I would imagine myself as a Mom, 
I couldn't help but think of all the things I would or wouldn't teach them.  
Things I wouldn't let them do, things I would NEVER do,
and dreamed of the kind of Mom I thought I would be.  
Let me just start by saying, my sincerest apologies to all those who told me 
before I had a child..." You don't have kids, you don't understand." 
I was always so offended.  How dare you insult my intellect??!!
I know a lot about they should behave, what they should eat, 
how much tv they should watch... Why??  Because I read a lot.  
I mean A LOT.  Article after article, excerpts from books, 
I watched shows and documentaries.  
I knew exactly the kind of Mom I would be, 
and it would be easy too.
Children should speak only when spoken too. 
If they don't eat the dinner I cook, they go to bed hungry.
My kid will never throw a fit in public...and if he does, my evil eye alone 
will scare him into shape.
They may only watch one of hour of tv a day.
They will never eat chicken nuggets.
They will never play in those germy public play areas.

Well, it's safe to say that just about every thing I have ever judged another Mom for doing, I have been faced with having to make the same decision myself, 
and I did not choose the path I always thought I would. 
I have spent many a day cooking 4+ meals for my Logan who decided 
he didn't like anything anymore.
He has had meltdowns in public, and I didn't turn 10 shades of red 
like I had always pictured...
I scoop him up, hold him close, I tell him its okay and kiss his squishy cheeks. 
He watches Mickey Mouse everyday.  
On a bad day...all day.  Whatever it takes to settle him.
I fed him chicken nuggets, one of the many times I made him 4+ meals in attempt 
to get him to eat something. 
He loves the play place at the mall, I have even caught him 
chewing on other children's shoes. 

See, what I didn't know was, that a lot of parenting (for me) is purely instinctual. 
I know my kid, and most of the time I know what he wants, what he needs,
and why he is upset. 
I make decisions based on how I feel, and often ask does this feel right?
Sounds crazy but it works.
Because all the parents who told me I didn't understand, were right. 
I didn't understand.  
I had no clue.  
How could I?
I didn't understand until I had my own.  
On the day he was born, and they put him in my arms, 
he melted the ice right off my heart.
I don't look at children the same way anymore. 
I don't hear a screaming toddler and think, what a brat!  
Her parents must not discipline her enough. 
My heart gets heavy, because she probably missed her nap, and is over tired.
I have those aha moments from time to time.....
They remind me to be accepting and tolerant of others and the choices they make. 
It might not be what I would do, but then again it just might, 
that is what always seems to surprise me.

Here are some of my own, less than perfect Mommy  moments:
Pants all wet from playing in the water fountain, trying to eat stuff off the floor in the kids play area at the L.A. Zoo
Having some tasty flowers for a snack

At the beach on a chilly day, with only a diaper, trying to eat sand crabs.

Caught him playing in the trash, here he has coffee grounds all over his face. 

Mommy let him run around Costco with no shoes!!

There is no one size fits all way to raise a child.
Only the one that works best for you. 
And I don't live in your shoes, so who am I to say what that should or shouldn't be.
Us Mom's need to stick together, this parenting stuff isn't easy. 
Anytime I can encourage another Mom, and tell her how great of a Mom she is, I will.
There is no better compliment in the world than hearing that you are a good Mom.
That's all any of us want to hear.
So, I have made a promise to myself to make a big effort to remember this post each and every time I encounter one of those..."I will never...." moments.  

"There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one"
 ~ Jill Churchill




  1. You are so Gorgeous and so very wise.

  2. I LOVE reading your blogs! You are such a great writer, mom, friend, wife, and all around AMAZING woman. Thanks for sending these to me :))

  3. Wow, that really spoke to me. I always imagine how I can do things better than someone else... from raising kids to folding laundry. Then I take a walk in someone else's shoes and my perspective changes. Thank you for being so honest and humble- its really inspiring! Love you and Logan! Hope to see you soon! xoxo