Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Preschool Jitters

I am so nervous about his first day of preschool.
I even have butterflies every time I think of it.
And not the good kind.
The flutter of nervousness in your stomach kind.

This will be his 3rd school since he started a young 4 months old.
It was hard having to put him in daycare so young, but a friend referred me
to someone who had her daycare for 25 years, and her sons practically grew up there.
It was great for him.
He was the only baby, and so he got all the attention.
Then she got really busy, and started collecting more kids.
A total of 3 babies, and 9 kids.
When he started there was only 6 kids, and him.
It was time to move on.
I looked and looked for a new daycare, and went to visit a few different places.
When we found them.
A small in home daycare with tons, and I mean TONS of toys.

Three different playrooms, a backyard, and swim lessons in the summertime.
Story and music time every morning.

Home cooked organic meals, made with veggies from their family garden.
Alkaline water filtration system.  (I didn't even know those existed)
A soft spoken Mom of 2.
It didn't get much better than that.
He spent 2 birthdays, and 2 Christmas seasons with her.
She helped the little ones make crafts each holiday.
She told us how he did and what he did every single day.
What he ate, how long he slept, what he liked to play with.

Somehow I think preschool might be a little different.
But I think I am ready.
I wasn't going to talk much about why we decided to make this change, because I have struggled so much with my decision.
But that is exactly why I think I should.
Because as a Momma I sometimes doubt myself.
My instincts as a parent.
My gut feeling.
My better judgement.
What if I am wrong?
Did I decide this out of haste?
Am I being selfish?
Is this the best thing for him?
Is he going to respond well to this change?
Will he take his nap in a little cot instead of the crib?
Will the kids play with him?
Will he play with them?

In spite of all my fears, I (we) decided that he was ready.
He needed more.
More outside playtime.
More stimulation.
More time learning.
You see, I can count on one hand how many times this child has slept through the night,
in his ENTIRE life, and guess what??  This Momma is tired.
I have a theory....
If he spends more time outside playing, and getting excercise and fresh air, the more tired he will be, and eventually get a full nights sleep, right?
I am hopeful anyway.
Too much stimulation isn't good, but I think too little is equally as bad.
He is definitly ready for more structure, and less free play.
Its great for kids to play, and play with toys, its how they learn.
But there are so many other components to learning.
Art is one of them.
Since he discovered pens he marks on everything!
The wall, the couch, the fridge, himself!!

So they don't play with pens much at daycare, and then trying
to remove a pen from him?
Takes sincere effort, followed by a tantrum.
But he loves to color, and write with pens, markers, paint, and playdoh.
At this new school, he will get to that EVERYDAY!!!!
He will also have a slightly shorter nap time, which may help him 
sleep longer at night too.
{Fingers crossed}

And of course there is the learning part of school.
Where they will actually teach him things:
Colors, shapes, numbers, letters, animals, manners, patience, and sharing.
Just what my busy lil boy needs right now.
Because in daycare, he was the only one who still had
to sit in a highchair at mealtime.
Why you ask?
He would get up and run around with his food, and try to eat other kids food. 

{Thats him in the babychair attached to the table,shoveling his muffin,LOL}

He was the only one who climbed on EVERYTHING.
He will not sit still.
He is curious, and adventurous.
He is a boy.
From what I hear, he is perfectly normal.
But she suggested he might have ADD, and maybe I should look into a modifed diet to help curb some of his symptoms.
That comment was extremely disheartening, for more than obvious reasons.
It did however, spark the thought, that maybe this wasn't the right place for him and what he needed anymore.
And with all this, I struggled with our decision to put him in preschool.
I didn't think these reasons were good enough.
Nothing bad happened, and I wasn't angry.
When I gave her my 2 week notice and told her he would start preschool.
Tears welled up in her eyes, and of course I felt for her.
I could see that she really enjoyed having him,
despite some of her comments.
I knew she would miss him, and the other kids would too.
I told her it wasn't her fault, and she didn't do anything wrong, we love it here, but he is ready to be in preschool, we are ready for him to be in preschool.
For the next 2 weeks I doubted my decision.
I am sure I bored my friends and family to tears with my repetitive fears about this.
But I needed someone to tell me I was making the right choice, that would be okay, and that he would be okay.
They reminded me that God has a plan, a plan for us, and a plan for Logan.
But I still couldn't help but feel twinges of fear and doubt along the way.
What I realized was, that I needed me to tell me it was okay.
That is was okay to want change for him, and it wasn't selfish.
That I needed to trust the process and have faith.
I needed to be okay with my baby not being so little anymore,
and starting preschool.
I think those words scared me.
I wasn't sure that he was ready.
I was the one who wasn't ready.
Either way it was going to happen because more of me felt that it was right, than the small part of me that was afraid of all the what if's.

So it was.
His first day, of preschool today.
And he did fantastic.
He loved it, he waltzed right in like he owned the place.
He felt right at home, and started playing and exploring.
{This one isn't shy at all.}
He took a nap on his little cot.
He played with other kids, and they played with him.
None of my fears came true..
Not a single one.
I am one proud Momma.

I love this boy...

{Big boy with his lunch box}

"Having a two-year-old is like having a blender
that you don't have the top for."   

 ~Jerry Seinfeld




Tuesday, February 12, 2013

To My Sweet 2 Year Old.

My Dearest Pumpkin,

It feels like yesterday when I held you for the very first time.  You were so fragile and tiny.

Fast forward 2 are like a little person.  

Well you are, but its hard to believe how fast you are growing up.  My heart can't keep up. You are so tall now and VERY heavy, you weight  almost 30 lbs!  But I still hold you and pick you up all the time.  I can't resist your squishy arms held high in the air as you lean against Momma and tell me... "up? up?"
You have changed my life so much since you have joined our family.  I never knew my heart could love this much.  And with all this love, of course comes worry.   I worry about everything.
I still pretty much mince your food every chance I get because I worry.  I worry about your safety all the time! I worry about  how much sleep you are getting, or not getting, how many "educational" toys you have, or don't have, how much outside playtime you have, how much Momma & Dadda time you have.
I feel guilty for being at work, and not being home to raise you myself.
These are the things that plague my conscience daily.  I want you to have the very best life,
and have the very best chance to be most you can be, and I will do anything
to make that happen.  Words cannot express how very much I love you, and
how lucky I am to be your Mommy.  You are so big now.  You say all kinds of words...
there was a time when I worried that you wouldn't ever talk.  You like to jump off of EVERYTHING, you love Mickey Mouse, and Puss in Boots.  You had your first cookie, cinnamon roll, and candy cane  this last Christmas.  Momma was feeling generous at the time, I paid for that later.

Some of my many favorite things about you right now are:
That most of the time you absolutely refuse to use a fork,
You do your own thing, on your time, you don't care what the other kids are doing.
You can play by yourself or with others depends on your mood.
You call giraffes cows, and a cow says "booooo".
Your high pitched meow, when you immitate a cat.
When you get upset and you are not done with whatever you are doing... you yell
"Noooo wait!!!" in your sweet little boy voice.
Auntie Cole is "Ah Cole" and anyone who lives at Ah Cole's house is Ah Cole too.
You love your nap time, and so does Momma, you give me a much needed break
every afternoon, thank you for that.
You almost always give me hugs and kisses when I ask for them, sometimes
not even prompted and you give me "lovies".
So many other things you say and do make you so sweet and so special,
I am so glad that you chose me.
It has been a joy watching you grow, and you have brought me so much peace, and
taught me to slow down and enjoy the little things.

You had an awesome birthday weekend!
Here at the highlights:
Friday you had muffins and gave out goody bags with all the kids at school, and since Momma couldn't find you a birthday crown, I got you a pirate hat instead, you wore it ALL day.

Saturday we went to Kidspace Museum and you loved the water fountains
(as usual) anything with water is a blast for you.

There were tons of toys, and climbers, and stuff to do, which you did play with for a little while, but then you wanted to run to the farthest corners of the park and hike up a muddy hill.
You are such a boy.
Momma bought you a kangaroo climber, got it home and attmepted to put it together about 8 times, finally succeeding ont he 8th try.  Only to take it apart that night and take it back to the store, it was way to small for you. :*(
{Thank goodness you didn't notice it was gone the next morning, I was worried.... again.}

Sunday Feb 3rd, 2013 was your birthday.
We filled your room with balloons and you loved it!!!

There are still about 27 large balloons floating around the entire house.
Then we had breakfast at our favorite place- Henri's of course.
You watched Mickey and ate french toast, and bacon, you even used your fork.

Then we went to the park and played, then off to Toys R Us to get you a new birthday toy!

After testing out all the goods and spending about an hour,
we finally decided on a red Radio Flyer scooter, and a tent tunnel that you can crawl through.
So far you only stand on the scooter and wait for someone to push you around on it, but I am confident you will pick it up in no time.
Then we went to the grocery store, for some birthday ice cream, then home for your nap.
G'ma came over at about 2:30 and woke you up from your nap and brought you a BIG cupcake, which you picked all the sprinkles off and ate them, you wanted little to do with the cake itself.  You also shared some sprinkles with G'ma.

Mom finally got ready and packed up the stroller and off we went to L & D's.
You had a fabulous time playing with all your cousies, I have never seen you interact as much as I did today. It made my heart warm.
You laughed, and ran, and jumped, and wore helmets and gloves, and chased each other around and around, you even shared, and you smiled all day.

Then came birthday cake time.  Momma was so excited to have everyone sing to you, hoping that you would feel the love that was felt for you in the room at that very moment.
But Momma left the candle too close to you and turned around, you tried to grab it and everyone screamed, you got scared and cried through our entire song of Happy Birthday.
It broke my heart to see those great big crocodile tears from my baby bird on your big day.
But you got over pretty quick and dove right into your cupcake.

Your family loves you so much, they are so thoughtful and kind, and know you so well
because they take the time to.  I love that about them.
You got so many wonderful gifts, all your favorite things.
Everyone was there Grandpa Marvin, Grandma Ruby, Greg & Jackie, Lucas, Dillion,
Mike & Kimi, Wyatt, Walker, Uncle Charlie, G'ma Sherrie, and of course the
generous hosts Uncle Louie, and Aunt Dorrel.
Most of all everyone was there to share your day, and wish you the happiest birthday ever.

I think you may have even known that today and this weekend was extra special,
your little grin and the twinkle in your eye told me so.

I love you so much more than words.


Your Momma

P.S.  Today was your actual "due date", but we evicted you a little early.