Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Preschool Jitters

I am so nervous about his first day of preschool.
I even have butterflies every time I think of it.
And not the good kind.
The flutter of nervousness in your stomach kind.

This will be his 3rd school since he started a young 4 months old.
It was hard having to put him in daycare so young, but a friend referred me
to someone who had her daycare for 25 years, and her sons practically grew up there.
It was great for him.
He was the only baby, and so he got all the attention.
Then she got really busy, and started collecting more kids.
A total of 3 babies, and 9 kids.
When he started there was only 6 kids, and him.
It was time to move on.
I looked and looked for a new daycare, and went to visit a few different places.
When we found them.
A small in home daycare with tons, and I mean TONS of toys.

Three different playrooms, a backyard, and swim lessons in the summertime.
Story and music time every morning.

Home cooked organic meals, made with veggies from their family garden.
Alkaline water filtration system.  (I didn't even know those existed)
A soft spoken Mom of 2.
It didn't get much better than that.
He spent 2 birthdays, and 2 Christmas seasons with her.
She helped the little ones make crafts each holiday.
She told us how he did and what he did every single day.
What he ate, how long he slept, what he liked to play with.

Somehow I think preschool might be a little different.
But I think I am ready.
I wasn't going to talk much about why we decided to make this change, because I have struggled so much with my decision.
But that is exactly why I think I should.
Because as a Momma I sometimes doubt myself.
My instincts as a parent.
My gut feeling.
My better judgement.
What if I am wrong?
Did I decide this out of haste?
Am I being selfish?
Is this the best thing for him?
Is he going to respond well to this change?
Will he take his nap in a little cot instead of the crib?
Will the kids play with him?
Will he play with them?

In spite of all my fears, I (we) decided that he was ready.
He needed more.
More outside playtime.
More stimulation.
More time learning.
You see, I can count on one hand how many times this child has slept through the night,
in his ENTIRE life, and guess what??  This Momma is tired.
I have a theory....
If he spends more time outside playing, and getting excercise and fresh air, the more tired he will be, and eventually get a full nights sleep, right?
I am hopeful anyway.
Too much stimulation isn't good, but I think too little is equally as bad.
He is definitly ready for more structure, and less free play.
Its great for kids to play, and play with toys, its how they learn.
But there are so many other components to learning.
Art is one of them.
Since he discovered pens he marks on everything!
The wall, the couch, the fridge, himself!!

So they don't play with pens much at daycare, and then trying
to remove a pen from him?
Takes sincere effort, followed by a tantrum.
But he loves to color, and write with pens, markers, paint, and playdoh.
At this new school, he will get to that EVERYDAY!!!!
He will also have a slightly shorter nap time, which may help him 
sleep longer at night too.
{Fingers crossed}

And of course there is the learning part of school.
Where they will actually teach him things:
Colors, shapes, numbers, letters, animals, manners, patience, and sharing.
Just what my busy lil boy needs right now.
Because in daycare, he was the only one who still had
to sit in a highchair at mealtime.
Why you ask?
He would get up and run around with his food, and try to eat other kids food. 

{Thats him in the babychair attached to the table,shoveling his muffin,LOL}

He was the only one who climbed on EVERYTHING.
He will not sit still.
He is curious, and adventurous.
He is a boy.
From what I hear, he is perfectly normal.
But she suggested he might have ADD, and maybe I should look into a modifed diet to help curb some of his symptoms.
That comment was extremely disheartening, for more than obvious reasons.
It did however, spark the thought, that maybe this wasn't the right place for him and what he needed anymore.
And with all this, I struggled with our decision to put him in preschool.
I didn't think these reasons were good enough.
Nothing bad happened, and I wasn't angry.
When I gave her my 2 week notice and told her he would start preschool.
Tears welled up in her eyes, and of course I felt for her.
I could see that she really enjoyed having him,
despite some of her comments.
I knew she would miss him, and the other kids would too.
I told her it wasn't her fault, and she didn't do anything wrong, we love it here, but he is ready to be in preschool, we are ready for him to be in preschool.
For the next 2 weeks I doubted my decision.
I am sure I bored my friends and family to tears with my repetitive fears about this.
But I needed someone to tell me I was making the right choice, that would be okay, and that he would be okay.
They reminded me that God has a plan, a plan for us, and a plan for Logan.
But I still couldn't help but feel twinges of fear and doubt along the way.
What I realized was, that I needed me to tell me it was okay.
That is was okay to want change for him, and it wasn't selfish.
That I needed to trust the process and have faith.
I needed to be okay with my baby not being so little anymore,
and starting preschool.
I think those words scared me.
I wasn't sure that he was ready.
I was the one who wasn't ready.
Either way it was going to happen because more of me felt that it was right, than the small part of me that was afraid of all the what if's.

So it was.
His first day, of preschool today.
And he did fantastic.
He loved it, he waltzed right in like he owned the place.
He felt right at home, and started playing and exploring.
{This one isn't shy at all.}
He took a nap on his little cot.
He played with other kids, and they played with him.
None of my fears came true..
Not a single one.
I am one proud Momma.

I love this boy...

{Big boy with his lunch box}

"Having a two-year-old is like having a blender
that you don't have the top for."   

 ~Jerry Seinfeld





  1. Awww Misty! What a precious post! I can't imagine what it felt like to experience that conflict! I think what I've realized with my interactions with kids, is there is no one RIGHT WAY, and EVERYTHING is an experiment. I think you are very contemplative, loving, (lovingly)concerned, diligent, and open- and I think these are some of the reasons you are such a wonderful mother. After reading your post, I think you were ruled less by fear and more by the desire to give your son the absolute best! I think its admirable that you took so much time to think this over... and if its a mistake- you can fix it! You are doing a fantastic job! I love you so much and thank you for sharing this incredible part of your life with all of us readers! xoxo

  2. Just found you via Elise's Pieces and I have to say that I wish I could color on my belly like that sometimes, on certain days. haha