Monday, April 1, 2013

Pity Party of 1


So there are moments when I cannot stop thinking about how I am doing this whole Mom thing all wrong.
Everyone else has got it together, except for me.
Sometimes I feel like I am missing a "Mom gene".
Because among other things..... poo and boogers still completely gross me out.
During these times I wonder....is it this hard for everyone else or just me?
Why can't I seem to find  patience?
Lately, my little sweet boy is somewhat of a little monster.
Now I suppose this is typical of a 2 year old, but....
Seriously??!!!
Now- I new that one day this would happen.
That it was coming, the "terrible two's", but I didn't know what it would feel like.
He will not listen to anything I ask.
I practically have to drag him into the elevator, on the way to the car.
He refuses to have his poop changed.
He throws his food, and sippy cup on the floor... at every meal.
He screams and whines, most of the day.
He is now waking up, not once but twice a night for the past month.
And I am TIRED!!!!
I know I mention that I am tired in almost every post, but GEEZ!!  Can't a girl catch a break?
I cannot remember the last time I was NOT tired.
Probably 3 years ago.
Granted,  he is only 2 years and a couple months, but while I was pregnant
I was up 3-8 times a night anyway.
So going on 3 years, with maybe 5 full nights sleep, not a good combo.
And I am really starting to feel it.
I feel sad, guilty, tired, and depressed.
I feel like I shouldn't feel that way.
I am blessed with a beautiful healthy son, and so many other people have it so much worse. I should be grateful.
And I am, but I can't ignore how I am feeling right now.
And when the pity party rains, it pours.
I start thinking about all the things around the house I need to catch up on
What I am not doing enough of,
What I should be doing more of,
What I am not good at,
How I should be trying harder at this and that.
Blah, blah, blah.
My house always feels like a mess, but all I do is clean, I don't understand how that makes any sense.
He is a little tornado, leaving a trail where ever he goes.
Anyways.
Once again I haven't been making the time for myself.
To recharge, and relax.
But it is really hard to do, its hard to get away, and not too feel guilty while your away, and half the time I am way too exhausted to even get ready and leave the house to go do anything anyways.
I also haven't set foot in a gym in years.
I am sure it would help to do some yoga once in a while.
I also know its time for me to reach out to my higher power and give it away.
I tend to forget about this lovely tool too often.
"Remove my fears, and direct my attention to who you would have me be."
Thats my rant for the day.
Praying for a brighter tomorrow.
How do you de-stress??
I need ideas.

8 comments:

  1. You could come to Arizona and visit your most favoritest person!!!

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  2. Hi Misty,
    I love the new look and theme of your blog. Perhaps you can match your insides to the outsides ;)
    Its ironic that you wrote about being tired because I was with a dear friend recently and we talked about this (and you!). She also has a two-year old and is dealing with the terrible two's. Anyway, she is my dearest, oldest friend; her name is Sara and I emailed your blog to her. I don't know why I didn't think of doing that before. Anyway, she insists on a full-night's sleep! Maybe you two could help each other?
    Anyway, de-stressors... I love this topic. I like to call it "self care." Its amazing how far little acts of self care can go. Just last night, I gave myself a facial. I didn't even think I had all of the ingredients to do it, but I searched online until I found something. It was actually quite simple...clean, steam, home-made mask (yogurt and egg white), exfoliate (with baking soda), toner, and moisturize... Anyway, one of the things this little article said was to NOT skimp out on the facial massage (with the moisturizer). Well, I don't know about you, but I don't consider doing things like massaging my face- I would have quickly threw on some moisturizer and called it a day. But that little comment stood out to me. I thought to myself, "Yeah, what's a facial without a massage?!" So, I did it and guess what? It was fantastic. I felt rejuvenated AND I think it made a difference!
    Anyway, the whole point of that silly story was to illustrate how we can turn little things into projects of real self care.
    Other things I do: a bubble bath with candles and music at least once a week, juicing/green smoothies (I've also found that this has helped me with energy. ask me about the supplements I started taking a couple months ago), taking small walks around my neighborhood, downloading a new album (sometimes, all I need is just a good musical break), a good book (that is not educational; purely for pleasure), and speaking of pleasure...SEX (need I explain this one?)...
    Anyway, I hope this helped. You are fantastic! And I've heard all my friends with little ones say the things you've said. Boogers and poop are gross no matter what ;)
    xoxo

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    Replies
    1. Jesse, I cannot tell you enough, now much I admire you, and how you inspire me. You have great ideas. I am going to try some of these tonight. Love you tons.

      xoxo, Misty

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  3. I've entered a rabbit hole from Facebook...

    I totally get it, I've been there (really I'm still here) and I can completely appreciate how you feel. If you don't tell my hubby at daycare what I do to de-sress I'll let you in on my secret.

    Whenever I feel overwhelmed, I say that I have to go to the bathroom, sit on the floor and cry my little heart out. Crying does wonders for calming the body down :) It's also nice to hide away and not feel like you have to have yourself together all the time.

    Being super mom is hard work. I was silly enough to open a business when Karina turned 15 months, one that requires time to actually make a profit!! Much love, and don't worry. We're a FB message or a phone call away if you need to rant!

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  4. Thanks for the love. I am really sorry I haven't reached out to you sooner. I don't cry that much but it sure does feel good when I do. It is really hard work. You are not silly for opening a business, you are brave, that is awesome!! I def call or message you more often. Thanks for the comment!! xoxo

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  5. Hey Girl! I LOVE this post and you are FAR from alone.. And just think... "One day" insert- wink wink :) you'll be doing it all over again! And so will I. Sometimes I feel like i'm missing the same mom Gene. But you are stronger and wiser than you think! Love ur face XOXO

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